Have you ever seen one of those lame 15 way to be a good boyfriend lists? They're basically a list of several things that a boyfriend should do in order to make his girlfriend feel like a princess. There are many different lists of this type circulating the Internet, and they are all equally stupid. At first glance they seem harmless, cute, and romantic, but women are clever creatures. They have the ability to turn everything you do, no matter how good your intentions are, into a horrible gesture. This is one that was sent to me and I've written down what you can expect to have happen if you follow these stupid lists.
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1. Hug her from behind.
And then listen to her complain that you don't hug enough from the front. Why not? Do you think she's ugly? Are you picturing someone else's face?
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other.
Oh that's original. Did you pick that up in grade school? You're so juvenile.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
Why are you so needy all the time? Give her some free space you freak!
4. Cuddle with her.
Yeah, that's just what she wants. She goes to the bar to find real man to pound her hard and you want to cuddle. Give me a break.
5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
That's right, let her walk all over you. If you want to see a movie and she doesn't just back down you spineless weakling.
6. Write little notes.
Oh how romantic, a post-it with chicken scratch. Where are the roses and diamonds? You're so cheap.
7. Compliment her Honestly.
First you'll have to find something about her that you can complement her in an honest way, so don't bother with her physical appearance.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
For what, like two years? You've already hugged her from behind, held her hand, wrapped your arms around her, and cuddled with her. Are you some kind of stalker?
9. Be super sweet to her.
Saccharine sweet. Awww, you are soooo kwoot I wub you soooo much! That's so mushy she'll probably vomit on you.
10. Don't ditch her for your friends... invite her over to hang out with u and "the guys".
Because there's nothing she'll love more than to watch a three hour football game while you all do keg stands and talk about the celebrities you'd like to nail.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
How do you expect to do this when you're the one who made her cry in the first place you jerk.
12. Love her with all your heart.
Even when she belittles you in public, cheats on you with your friends, and kicks you in the balls. Grow a backbone.
13. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
So basically, ignore #5 at this point and read her mind. Sometimes she says no and means no, sometimes she says no and means yes. Don't you have ESP?
14. Be a GENTLEMEN (hold the door for her).
Then listen to her explain for five hours about how women are oppressed and should be treated like equals. Nay, worshipped liked goddesses!
15. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her!
If you have any friends who have a mind of their own you must leave them because your amazing girlfriend can't handle the slightest bit of criticism.
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As you can see, adhering lists like this is just plain foolish. No matter what you do women will shoot you down. The best thing you can do with them is to just pick one at random and hope for the best.
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